Love.

I love sushi. So much. There is no where to buy sushi here so I am posting a picture in fond memory of when we lived in a booming metropolis where they had things like sushi, things to do besides Walmart and an airport within 3 hours distance. I love the cotton in the top of vitamin bottles. I love feeding a fat gray squirrel we named Gladys that comes to our porch every day.  I love how Garrett smells. When I was single I loved to travel to new places. I love running at dusk when its not too hot or too cold and it feels like the day is closing. I love when you are listening to a good song in the car and you pull into your driveway at the exact moment it ends. I love when your eye makeup looks good and your hair is working and your hygiene stars have aligned.  I love playing games with sweet and salty popcorn (10 marshmellows, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup butter melted together on the stove poured over two bags normal popcorn) and a smoothy on a Saturday night. I love sleeping in on fresh clean sheets and having no obligations the next day. I love when you are just about to push on the brake and the light turns green. I love laughing so hard you feel like your eyes are going to pop out. I love Kix cereal with 2% milk and fresh strawberries with sugar.  Those are all things I love.  However, when I think of it, those are things or activities that I really enjoy.    What I love deep in my soul that fills me and makes me want to do something, anything to have and feel is not a recipe you pour over popcorn or winning a long well fought battle on words with friends.  It's people, it's feelings, it's those moments that you cannot buy on Amazon or take a picture of.  It's the feeling when G walks through the door and Liv and I both squeal because we're so excited and have a family cuddle while G and I kiss Liv's cheeks and just keep staring because we love her so much.

  It's feeling revelation and the holy ghost teach me things and give me a little nugget that this life isn't it.  That all the things I have learned my whole life are real.  It's laughing so hard on the phone with my sister. It's knowing that even I am so far away, that there are people who love me just like I am.  It's knowing that the Lord really did use you to help out another human being.  It's holding Liv last night at 3 am and rocking her for 20 minutes because she didn't feel well and having her just hold on to me and feeling that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. 

It's knowing that there is a man who was custom made in Santa's heavenly workshop just for me and that we are never giving up on each other and that our marriage is bigger than both of us. It's knowing that no matter how much I puke when pregnant, how grumpy we get, how burned dinner is or what love handles, differences or trials come our way, that we are deeply, fiercely, completely devoted and loyal to each other no matter what forever more.  Being so far away has made me love the things I love even deeper.  Life really is about what and who you love.

 

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