Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sick of being sick (and lazy)

Liv and I have been sick today. I hate being sick. We had one of those days o waste where when someone calls and says, "So what did you do today?"  and you can't really think of a single significant thing that occurred and even though I love journal writing, I omit the nightly entry because there is absolutely nothing that happened worth recording or remembering.  In fact, I'm fairly sure that the only difference I made in my eternal progress today was that I got fatter because I ate multiple molasses cookies and drank grape juice all day in between taking sudafed and naps.  Days like this make me remember that I don't want to live life this.  Although I am embarrassed to admit it, this is not the first day in 28 years I have wasted.  There are plenty of days that I am indeed, not sick and I don't have an excuse. I just don't feel like stepping it up and actually doing something with my mortal probation.  Why?  Because it takes effort. It's not fun, and usually requires some discipline and/or work. That's it. 
 Elder Eyring said, "When the day comes that you see you who you really are, you will wish you would have tried harder."   Well I am in deep trouble because I'm not even to that day and I already wish I would have tried harder.  It's actually not completely my fault because I live in a society that is thrives on eliminating effort.  Heck, I don't even have to cut the crust off my bread thanks to uncrustables.  I drive around a half circle after yelling into a speaker and my food is ready by the time my car pulls up, no need to even park.  I had an epidural put in when I was 0 centimeters dilated because I am the antithesis of the pioneer women who squatted by wagon wheels at rocky ridge birthing center and bit on a stick for pain.  If I am hot, I turn on air conditioning, if I am cold I turn on heat. No chopping wood required. Easy. I also have these options in a vehicle that prevents me from having to walk anywhere. If I was completely exhausted from the effort of turning pages or having to lift a book, heaven forbid, I could get a kindle.  See what I mean?  I live a life of disgusting ease and gluttony.   So I am not entirely to blame for my hard work allergy.  Except for I am.  

I had a good spiritual spanking when I read this quote a few days ago: 
"The cultivation of Christlike qualities is a demanding and relentless task- it is not for the seasonal worker or for those who will not stretch themselves again and again (Spencer W. Kimball, Nov 1978 Ensign)."

I then realized that there is not one single thing in life that is really worth having that does not require a significant amount of work.  No one gets married in the temple because all the city hall was full and they accidentally kept the law of chastity.  No one has children who are successful contributors to society and love the Lord and have scholarships because they slept in every day until 11 o'clock and hoped someone would teach their children what mattered most.  No one has a successful career because they won it at the Circus Circus casino in Las Vegas.  No one loves their marriage and has a successful fulfilling relationship because they did whatever they felt like and said whatever they wanted whenever they wanted.  It all takes discipline, work, and consistent effort. No matter how advanced the iphone gets and technology becomes, the eternal principles that I know bring joy, true joy to my life and happiness in the life after require work.  There is no app for that. 

I realize today that Satan doesn't really care if I start smoking pot, stealing large sums of money and watching rated R movies, or if I am just plain lazy and distracted spending all my time checking facebook, wasting my hours and not doing anything because both accomplish the same objective of keeping me from doing what I was sent here to do and stop me from becoming who I should be. 
No wonder the scriptures say, "Wo" to the peeps that waste their probation.  I don't want be sitting in the waiting room in heaven, too nervous to read any magazines and answer when they ask why I was so mediocre with my 80 years respond, "Um, I dunno. It just wasn't as fun and it seemed like, you know, a lotta work...."  
Hopefully I won't die tomorrow because I definitely need to step it up.  Tonight for FHE G picked a BYU devotional to watch for our lesson and it was so good.  I'm posting it here if you want to watch it for yourselves:  http://byutv.org/watch/49475abb-10d4-4f45-a757-7000b9945468

I guess what I'm saying is just a pep up talk to myself because I can't sleep so I'm awake and thinking about how the best things in my life really aren't things, they are people, and relationships and progression that requires work.