Thursday, July 28, 2011


90% of communication is non verbal they say (whoever "they" is).  I have never understood this except for perhaps in regards to the animal kingdom.  Bees to communicate navigational information do a complicated dance to their hive mates.
Squid communicate by flashing messages in colorful spots. Don't act like that wouldn't be cool if humans could do that. 

Mosquitos that are male are drawn to the sound of the female's wing beat, a sound which is picked up by their antennae.  Maybe singles wards would go much better if the males had an antennae and could discern the interest of the females before asking them out and wasting their money at dinner and 4 hours of mortal probation.
Cuttlefish to communicate adopt special swimming postures along with gesticulations of their tentacles
Humans are a little more difficult in what they communicate.  They don't do a bee dance, have cool tentacles or anntenae, or flash colorful spots.  Every single person wants to be understood, appreciated and validated, especially by the people they love most (ie the one they sealed themselves to for the rest of existence).  To communicate love homo sapiens often suck on each other's lips:
But the truth of the matter is that there is far too much to do in a day to spend all day in a drooling lip suction so there must be other ways invented to communicate.  For example, in the above photo there is a magical photo shopping that makes me look far better than I am.  I had been tanning, working out, makeup on, and looking my best for awhile in order to scam the jackpot of all husbands into sealing himself to me forever.  I spend approximately .00002% of my life on Earth looking like that kissing in a park while the sun sets.  More realistically would be a moment like the one below:
No photo shop here folks, this is not my finest hour. This is hour 23 of labor and the blue bag seen on the bed is the equivalent of the barf bags on planes.  The reason it is empty is because my husband threw the one full of revolting pregnancy puke away, gave me a drink, removed the throw up from my hair and didn't leave me for a milisecond all night.  No fancy sunset in this pic, no lip suction, no romantic cards or tender movie like embracing, just real life.  Love is also communicated when you know you can go to the person when you are your very worst, your very saddest, your very ugliest, and when you love handles are the very plumpest and they will still hold you and love everything about you in your weak suckling pig like state.  
 Yesterday G came home from the grocery store and did a bee dance. No, what did do was randomly buy me 2.1 lbs of my very favorite summer fruit.  It's not my birthday, not even my half birthday, Christmas, or Yom Kimpur.  It was just a Wednesday night and brought them home and he communicated quite clear because he knows A. I love cherries B. I love surprises C. The cherries were a surprise.  The near kilogram of love is gone now and all that remains are the pits in the bottom of the trash but I loved his communication.  I love how he communicates love when he writes me nice cards on valentines day, I love even more how he communicates love by getting Liv so I can sleep in or unloading the dishwasher even though he has a jillion things to study.  I'm so glad I'm not a cuttlefish or that he is a mosquito and we are limited to tentacle gesticulations or wing beats.    People always say to live the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." But even better is the extra 24 carat golden rule of "Do unto others what they would have done unto them."  Or learn to love people not how YOU receive communication of love but how they do.  Otherwise that's like a bee doing a dance for a squid.  It doesn't mean anything.  I love surprises and words.  G doesn't really need either but he does things like buy me cherries because he knows it is how I feel loved and understand love.  If we really love someone, then we crack the code and figure out how they receive it, even if it is different than what we want.  I still think it would be cool to see Garrett do a bee dance though.

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