Monday, May 6, 2013

Clubbing at Sams...

Gar and I are always talking about how we need to spice up our dating life, and by spice up I mean do something besides get a red box and fall asleep before its over.  Let's compare and contrast dating pre and post marriage:
Pre: We went to fun restaurants, did adventurous activities like night skiing, watching the Chinese acrobats, had theme dinners, and parties. 

Then we got married. And pregnant. And vomitous. And then pregnant again. And suddenly 10 o'clock feels like 4 am and the thought of changing out of sweat pants to go anywhere seems not worth the effort.  For the last few months, the most consistent place, in fact the only place we go for our Saturday night date is Sams Club.  Last week I decided to overcome the sweat pant/Sams Club barrier and bought us a groupon to an African grill which I thought would be really exotic. We sat down and it did not smell like Colorado, or America for that matter. I was feeling less confident about my adventurous dating endeavor.  Reading the menu did not help when I saw these options as their recommendations:
I got a secret pic while the woman read the entire menu to Gar...
We were getting very wary.  (Check out the paper voo doo cut out behind Gar's head) There was a peanut butter fufu soup. Yes fufu. And a bunch of fried things that should never be fried and we were both feeling very nervous.
Well, except for Liv. She played it cool and insisted on wearing her favorite sun glasses inside and was loving all the decor (I'm not sure what happened to Gar's eyes in this photo).  The more we read, the more we realized that this maybe wasn't what we were looking for and Gar said it would be smart to cut our losses, realize that we were culturally not refined and leave. Which we did. I can't believe we really did that.  We gave the nice lady a different excuse but really, the main problem was that there was not a single thing on that menu that looked edible to our fat white burger accustomed tastebuds.  By that time it was too late to cook dinner, there was no way we were going somewhere nice with our two girl sidekicks and fast food sounded bad so where did we end up?
That's right. Old faithful. Our Saturday night tradition prevailed despite my best attempts.  One of the funniest things about Sam's is the menu font size. Name me one other restaurant that you can see from a mile away... You can't because only Sam's makes their restaurant menu billboard size. Any 95 year old can see what is available without busting out bifocals.  You just can't beat the hot dog combo for $1.50....
I mean think about it, you get a delicious hot dog (although that is a bit of an oxymoron considering I am anti hot dog) but the styrofoam big gulp equivalent can't be beat. Liv loves it.  Free refills which means you can sip and shop the night away. Delicious. 
Until Liv dumped the whole 64 ounces and they had to bring out the official wet floor orange warning because of us. Slightly embarrassing. We'll get over it considering it will probably happen again. In fact, guaranteed it will happen again. 

Not only are there great deals to be had and samples to enjoy, but the child entertainment can't be beat. Liv's favorite part is playing in this cabin.  It works great until it's time to go and then its a bit of a challenge since she goes to the back wall of the cabin and there's no way we can climb up to get her out. Smart. Oh so smart.
Where else can you get the double wide cart? Motherhood heaven.  Maybe someday we'll go back to exotic, thrilling, spontaneous dates, but for this season of life, Saturday night at Sam's is the only type of clubbing for us.

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