Sometimes I look at other people's lives and wonder how they handle everything they have and don't complain. I just read a post from an amazing friend with 3 severely autistic children. I heard a testimony about forgiveness from a woman whose daughter was shot at age 17. I've just been reading the news and feeling really sad about the variety of horrible things that can happen to people. I am a complainer. I probably could have been Laman or Lemuels wife because I have some definite murmuring tendencies when I am uncomfortable. I haven't been to the dentist in a year because I'm scared of that scraping tool. Hence the reason I hate camping. Why would I intentionally make myself uncomfortable by eating pioneer fire food and zipping myself into something with the word "bag" in it without a toilet or electrical outlet anywhere near?
I agree completely with Jim Gaffigan:
Anyway, the point is I don't like inconvenience or discomfort. I wish I was one of those women that could have a baby by a wagon wheel in the middle of a blizzard at rocky ridge but I'm not. I never will be. I got an epidural when I was 0 centimeters dilated. I feel like there are some people who figuratively having their limbs amputated and I'm bellowing about a papercut. 2 days ago I woke up with pain in my back. It's probably what could be diagnosed as a sore muscle. It's a rare very very serious sometimes terminal condition...ok it's not but like I said, I'm a pain wienie so everything is a big deal to me. Anyway, I woke up in pain whenever I moved and was incapacitated for the whole morning until I took IBprofen and it magically disappeared.
The point is, I don't think I could handle anything I read about in the news just now. When I was little, I would always try to make "deals" with Heavenly Father such as, "if you help me win the spelling bee or have no cavities then I will make my bed and share." It took me a few years to realize that it's hard to make "deals" with an omniscient Being who already knows what is best for you. Even though I don't make "deals" anymore, I sometimes just want to pray and say, "Listen, I know trials make people stronger but I'm content to just clean bathrooms in the Celestial Kingdom. I can't even clean my bathroom so I don't think I could manage a world anyway so maybe just leave me unrefined, trial and pain free and I'll continue on my merry mortal way." I just feel like I'm cheating right now because nothing is heart wrenching, life changing, or overly inconvenient or painful. I want to get to a point in my life where I want to be better more than I want to be comfortable. Until then, whenever I read the news or look at the people in my life, I will pray that I could deal with whatever future trials happen with even a speck (like on Horton Hears a Who) of as much faith and optimism as the examples I have around me.