Sunday, December 18, 2011

A tale of two cousins...

People are constantly overestimating Liv's age because of her size.  I present cousin case example A. I will not use their actual names to protect their feelings.  Cousin on the right (we'll call her Little Savannanita) is 4 months older than cousin on the left (Let's call her um, Big Liv). I sometimes wonder how much babies understand each other or if they communicate at all. I think they might talk more than we think. The following dialogue is a real possibility of their potential thoughts:

Savannah: Sheesh you're huge.  You may have a belly like Budda and while people think its cute now, just wait until we're teenagers.  Plus, you don't even know how to take off that ridiculous brain squeezer on your head.  My fine motor skills are supreme.  I can crawl wherever I want while you are degraded to rolling like a walrus to get anywhere. How embarrassing. Your weight percentile may be at the top of the charts but developmentally, I rock your infant world.

Big Liv: Look S dawg. I know you're sensitive since we're going to be forced into these cousin pics for the rest of our existence but there's no need to bust out the weight card.  You don't see me making you self conscious about your red hair do you?  Let's just stop right there ok.

Savannah: I don't know. Just look at you know. Showing off and smiling for the camera. I just can't stop staring. I'm going to be potty trained by the time you finally stop dragging your belly on the ground and learn to actually crawl. You may be smiling but you don't even have teeth pink princess.

Big Liv: Look. I don't want to have to get physical but seriously, stop.

Big Liv: Ok. Let's put it behind us. Sav, you sure get good food. Your mom is always getting you those sweet Gerber puffs and nice pureed nursing home already chewed jar foods.  Me? I get some microbacteria infested plastic spike ball.  It's doesn't taste too bad. Do you want a lick?

Savannah: I can't even believe you. How many months are you? You may have the weight but I've got the maturity.  I'm not even going to look at you. I'm out of here, ya hear me? I can leave when I want because I crawl.  You should try it sometime....

Big Liv: I sure wish I could crawl instead of sucking on this octopus bottle and being stared at by all these adults that make ridiculous sounds and facial contortions just so I'll smile. It doesn't matter what tricks I do. I'll never be the birthright grandson like Jaxon. There is no hope. I wish Savannah would come back...