Let me tell you that I realize that not all hard things are created equal and what is hard for me would be as easy as getting a gumball for the million of supermoms out there but for me, it has been hard. Really hard. It has nothing to do with Liv. I love that little human being more than anything. It's just that I don' t know if I fully comprehended what was in the job description of my destiny. It is the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever done. Ever. I don't think living in the middle of nowhere has really enhanced my experience either but let's just say it's been difficult so I was very apprehensive when I learned we were expecting again.
I had a D&C (no, not the scriptures) that Monday and then spent the next day doing this with Liv (minus the bottle):
I think I must have checked on her at least 7 times the night I got home while she slept and just went in around 3 am just to hold her and cry and feel so full of gratitude for her little life that has such a big impact on every minute of my every day.