It's true. Liv has been gone from heaven and hanging out with G and I for an entire year. There's no way to describe what a change happened to our lives since 7:13 am on May 22. Even though she doesn't have a single gene that looks like me, I know that she was meant to be my baby. I could go on for too long but the point is that I love Liv. Livy Mae has been with me more consistently in my adult life than anyone else. Every minute of every day, for the last 12 months this happy spirit has been my constant companera. We wake up together, we eat together, we grocery shop together, we hang out in the mothers lounge at church together, we watch Baby Einstein together, I think you should be getting the idea that there is nothing we don't do together, so a serious party was in order.
We had punch in bottles so that we could better appreciate Liv's life on her birthday. We had a balloons, a dinner gift exchange and a Liv quiz with a prize.
Liv invited all her friends...
We did the classic cake. I included this picture because I look so much like a fish in attempting to model the perfect blowing form. Liv didn't grasp the concept but she did love the cake:
Being a mom takes a lot of effort. It's more work and energy than any puppy or giga pet you can imagine and there really isn't anything comparable to it on Earth. A one year old doesn't really talk or do many tricks. Even though she doesn't say anything, I feel like I know her better than anyone on Earth. I can tell the difference between a "I'm super tired and I need to you put me out of my misery and lay me down for a dang nap" cry and her "I am just sick of being in this cart and I feel like making Walmart citizens stare so I am going to shriek" cry.
I know her favorite bath toys and that she loves this ugly green plastic stegasaurous over all her light up bee bop girl toys. I know that she and I both get really fussy during the third trimester of church and the teacher is going into overtime and it is not the superbowl. I know that sniffing like a dog and rolling on the carpet makes Liv laugh hard and makes you look ridiculous.
I know that every morning after she bangs on her crib and does her morning alarm squawk, that it is one of my favorite times because we just lay in bed while she drinks a bottle and we read books and catch up on words with friends because we're both not quite ready to get out of bed.
I know that she has caught the vision and loves her nightly bath (mostly because when I let out the water so she'll get out, she sits on the drain). I know that sweet potatoes are her favorite and that pears give her gas. I know she loves being outside and that she goes crazy if she ever sees a dog. I know that she loves and uses her tongue better than anyone I know. I know that she loves the 5 little monkies book way better than the Pokey puppy book and that reading to her when she is tired is the best because she will cuddle for longer than .004 seconds.
I know she loves the windows rolled down in the car blasting Neil Diamond on the way to the grocery store, almost as much as I do. I know that she likes white grape juice over apple and which of her pacifiers work best to get her to sleep. I know that of all the best car toys, the empty Orbitz gum box is by far the most effective. It's so funny that she is so young and yet I know and feel her personality and her spirit so clearly. It sounds a little weird, but I really do feel like she is so patient with me, that she knows and understands my personality.
I know that Heavenly Father knew that she is what I needed in my life
and will need for the rest of my life. I know that she has one of the
happiest, purest, loving spirits I have ever been around. I understand Liv and know Liv and love her like no one else does. It's a deep connection that I can't type because I don't understand it myself.
We aren't close because we have similar hobbies or activities or because we spend hours talking (not really an option when we communicate with nothing over 2 syllables and said in a really weird voice that people get when they talk to babies, I don't get this phenomenon) and yet I feel a love and bond with her that is unlike anything else. The kind where sometimes I just watch her sleep and I can't not kiss her sweaty cheeks and feel like part of heaven has serious thunder thighs and eats Gerber puffs. It's not just because we happen to share the same belly button, or because I think babies are cute. It's different. She is apart of me, she is my life, she understands me, she dances with me, she sees me every minute of every day. I am connected to her and love her so deeply.
I am so grateful that Live defied the nuva ring and came into my life
and will always be my baby and one of my very best friends, no matter how many candles she gets on her